Happy June! What a month – warmer mornings and evenings begin to become the routine. The start of summer. Sitting outside on the porch, not having to wear a big coat is very much appreciated. On the high plains, snowfall is still possible and there are quite a few little league baseball games where experienced parents bring big blankets and sleeping bags to use for warmth as they watch the action taking place on the diamond. But, in general, June means better weather.
Very quick update on life after the Car T Cell procedure; my June bone biopsy and blood draws provided us with numbers and levels that we prefer. A relief, yes. But also tempered with the understanding that my condition is temporary and uncertain. I suppose everyone’s life is that way with or without cancer. One day at a time as we move forward. My current condition is better than before.
I had a very surprising and moving moment this month that was not so much about cancer or Multiple/Myeloma. It is more about the energy or reflective thoughts that came to mind after I happened upon a short video.
The video was a short clip of some years-ago reflections about D-Day (June 6th) shared by President Dwight D. Eisenhower who was the Supreme Allied Commander during the invasion of Normandy. My father participated in D-day and thus the event and subsequent remembrances seem to strike close to my heart.
At one point in his reflection, as he looked out at the acres of white crosses which serve as a poignant reminder of that day, Pres. Eisenhower said, “these people gave us a chance to do better”; he mentioned that “many were cut off from their prime” and that “they bought time for us to do better”.
Powerful.
For me, I believe that in his remembrance I heard so much of what I would perceive cancer patients hear every day in their heads as I/we charge forward.
I believe many of us, me included, go through chemo treatments and nausea and hair loss and all the other possible side effects because we yearn for another chance at “better.” We are hoping the doctors and nurses and specialists can “buy us some time.” We desire something “better” not only for ourselves but also for others, loved ones or individuals who have entered our lives.
But what would better look like?
In getting out the dictionary and searching for a definition of “better” I came across this explanation: better: a higher standard of achievement or treatment than from what is available, common, or current; Improved; A comparative of good or well.
By itself “better” or the idea of “better” can be very un-inspiring. A view of taking on “better” conjures up all sorts of expectations and commitments that often look daunting. I can very easily equate it with the burden of doing more and that seems hard. I certainly do not want to have more stuff to do. Yuk. It sounds like a lot of work.
However, does moving forward, getting another chance require my efforts at putting into place “better”? I get another chance with the caveat of having to fulfill the definition of better. It almost seems like there should be no hesitation in focusing on what the future can behold if concentrating on that idea.
In considering all the people who have helped me survive up to this point, who have worked to make me “better,” is it not proper then for me to reciprocate an attempt at better?
There are no specific parameters on the concept of “better” other than those which I choose to identify and follow. Despite the voluminous messages we all get from others about making ourselves better, I am truly the only person who can identify what “better” looks like.
For instance, it would not take much for me to be just a bit kinder or compassionate or patient. How about improving my consideration of others and toning down the judgements. I could go on, but I believe the point is obvious.
I have rewatched the video clip probably half a dozen times this morning as I sit here and type up this post – and it is only 9:00 am. I suspect I will watch it again and again.
As President Eisenhower reflected, so many many men, as they stormed the beaches 80 years ago paid dearly to give all of us a chance to be “better”.
As I watched the video, I caught a glimpse of history. It has really made an impact. I suppose that is why I chose to post these thoughts and these feelings I am having about the sacrifices of others and the opportunities and responsibility I have that come with this idea of “better.”
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